Eve- Teasing : Fight back!

It has happened to each one of us.

I have been reading a lot of blog entries by women who have faced some form of eve-teasing in Delhi so I decided to document the three incidents out of many that won’t get out of my mind. But the point here is not that I was hurt but the fact that I hit back. 

Location - A waterpark around Delhi

My parents decided to stay out of the wave pool and rest on the pool chairs while my sister (then 12 yrs old) and I decided to venture into the wave pool by ourselves. I am a good swimmer and wanted to go closer to the waves because for me that is where the actual fun is. Unfortunately that area was also dog marked by a group of guys, hooting and having their 'type of fun.' I presumed none of them knew how to swim given that they weren’t really moving from the place. All women stuck to the fringes, where the wave basically dies. Without stopping to think I jumped right in totally unaware on what lay ahead.

I told my sister to stay where she was. After 2 odd minutes, I found myself surrounded by the gang, all pretending to learn how to swim while grabbing at me. One of them actually pretended that he was drowning and held on to me to support him. I felt really weird for once, but still gave him the benefit of doubt. (This also happened to be my first mistake!) 

I relocated and went to the other side. Moments later, the same guy who was initially 'drowning' now swam across to my new location and tried to grab me. The only thing he didn't really expect was that I would be warned by my sister (as she was a spectator all this while) and I would turn right in time (this time it was definitely my turn to give back) to lift my knee and hit him where it hurt, YES I did that and enjoyed the 'Ouch' look on his face. His friends laughed from the other end while I gave him a mouthful.

The life guard heard me and asked them to vacate the pool. Victory.  Women now started to come to the wave pool deep end. I told my sister to hit right back. Our parents reached the spot and soon enough heard the entire story from my sister.

The next day we were both enrolled into Karate classes. 

Location : Sarojini Nagar, a day out shopping.

We all love Sarojini Nagar, (for the non- Delhiites it’s the perfect place for college shopping.) As I walked towards the main market with a few friends a lecherous group of guys scream –The spoke lewd filth that my older friend understood. I was still wondering what the dialogues meant nonetheless we started to walk briskly. We dismissed the incident (something I now strongly recommend you shouldn’t) and continued our shopping.  On the way back the same bunch of guys were waiting at the exact same spot where we left them. 'Aaja na, jannat dikha ja' - he said again. My friend retorted - 'Kaat dungi toh jahannum pahunchega' and we left the spot with just those words that I’m sure neither of us can forget. To give you a perspective, this was easily 6 years back and the words and the face still embedded in my mind as if it was yesterday.

I reached home safe and sound but none of what happened got discussed.

Location: In the train en route to New Delhi, India

Stuffed on two tier berths in the Rajdhani Express my sister and I wanted the seats above, while our parents occupied the seats below. We had just finished with dinner so my sister and I stayed up. We decided not to sleep but instead indulge in some play and talk, we felt safe considering our parents were just below.

Later as we all got ready for bed, I was stepping up to get on to my berth when a man from the next berth walked past, intentionally banging into me. I shot him an annoyed look him and he returned a helpless look. Considering the corridors were narrow I chose to overlook the incident. As I  set the bedding I saw him return to his place Again instead of sleeping I decided to go get the uno from the side pocket of the bag below, since I didn’t want to wake my parents up so went down and got it. No points for guessing what happened next - took one step on those rails up and this man got up again, this time he was physical. I was so humiliated and angry that I jumped off the second 'step' hurt my foot and held his hand and started to scream at him. The chaos woke my parents and the other passengers. At first my father was amazed that his daughter had abused but on knowing the whole story being an army-man himself he didn’t say another word. My dad all of 6 feet 2 inches held the the guy who was barely reaching his shoulders. We called the TT and got him relocated and slept peacefully. 

So why I am I sharing all this with you. Simple. In India, the problem with most women is the inability to share their problem in the open. This is not something you can afford to shy away from. Once you get into the habit of ignoring these filthy abusers you will be paying a heavy price. It is your integrity at stake. Fight back, don't cower down.

Eve- teasing is not a new phenomenon. We now need to ensure that this practice is put to an end.  Let us not depend on anyone to take care of us. Speak up and fight for yourself and I am sure there will always be someone good out there who will support you. Lets pledge not act like 'ablaa nari's' anymore, let's make ourselves heard. Have faith in humanity and fight for your rights! Join a self defence class, eat chowmein and don't be afraid or ashamed of being a woman. I still say only one thing lets not lose faith, there are still good people out there who do care and respect women, lets try to increase the number of those people by spreading more awareness.

Niharika Midha

@niharikamidha on Twitter

The author is a Medical Devices analyst addicted to reading the news. She has completed her Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering from Imperial College London. She aspires to be the President of India someday and believes in A.P.J abdul Kalam's words: Small aim is a crime!

Lamentations of the weaker sex

In the past two weeks since the rape and death of a 23 year old medical student Jyoti Pandey in the capital, New Delhi has seen Indians display their anger, intolerance towards injustice and the inefficient role of the Government, Law enforcement agencies and the Judiciary. Young protesters voiced their distaste and spoke in solidarity against this shameful act. The Government is now slated to introduce a new amended law against the heinous crime.

A lot been said and done on Rape, it is now time to shift focus to the larger picture. The young girl’s death may have stirred the feelings of the masses but it is now time to highlight the daily victimisation of women at home, work and public places.

Call it hypocrisy or over simplification of the situation, the country has begun to believe that the introduction of the legislation will protect women better than before. Have 'We the People' forgotten that we have a long standing history of crimes against women. To begin with the women are not afflicted only by rape. The sin of being a woman in many parts of both rural and urban India begins from her conception. Female foeticide is at the top of these vicious crimes against women.  To curb prenatal sex discernment the Pre-conception and Prenatal Diagnostic Techniques (Prohibition of Sex Selection) Act, 1994 was passed in India. The act aims to prevent sex-selective abortion. The fear of the law however has ceased to exist. As per Merco Press, a South Atlantic Asian News Agency, female foeticide in India still remained at a high in 2012. According to the 2011 census there are still 914 girls for every 1000 of their male counterpart which has fallen from 2001 where the statistics stayed at 927 girls per 1000 men. The dismal statistics are a result of the unlawful killing of the young girl child. Those determined to get rid of the girl child have adopted a new mode of disposing off the baby, an act that is today termed as Neonaticide, the killing of the infant within 24 hours of her birth. In some cases the infants are not immunized, failure of which leads to poor health and sickness. There is suggestion that this can be a deliberate attempt to limit their life.

According to Neil Samson Katz and Maria Sherry, in India: The Missing girls, a society out of balance,

“In some ways this is a very old tale. Long before medical abortion became available, unwanted girls were killed after birth or not given enough food and medicine to survive.”

But this is only the beginning. What happens if this “unwanted” female child lives to see another day? If they are unable to kill the child at birth she is dumped at garbage bins, disposed off at hospitals and then begins a torturous life that includes forcible begging and later on attaining adolescence a life that could range from being sold in brothels to human trafficking. The country has been a silent spectator to all these acts of shame for the past six decades and more.

A new phrase that is doing the round these days is the “commodification of women.”  A simplistic explanation of commodification would be “to make commercial.”  News channels ensured that the limelight stayed on only one source of this commodification: Bollywood. Prominent Bollywood celebrities stated that ‘item numbers’ were a part of ensuring the movies were a hit. Some like Shabana Azmi quite vociferously stated that the lyrics of songs needed to be toned down. The question is why did everyone wait for the Delhi incident to wake up to this reality?

The commodification of women unfortunately is not to be attributed to Bollywood. What about Dowry? The dowry system has commodified women since time immemorial. Dowry is believed to be an ancient custom, and its existence may well predate records of it. Again a bill was passed entitled, The Dowry prohibition Act, 1961 whose sole idea was to stop this commodification. Sections 304b and 498 A of the Indian Penal Code, 1860 were included to penalise those who indulged in the practice of “giving and taking dowry” IPC 304B assumes that if the wife dies within seven years of marriage, it is to be assumed to be murder unless the husband can prove his innocence. Though this section has been welcomed by certain parts of society, the ambit of this section is questionable. In the year 2010, the Supreme Court Justices Dalveer Bhandari and K S Radhakrishnan expressed concern at the rise in number of complaints under Section 498A. The Bench said, "We come across a large number of such complaints which are not even bona fide and are filed with oblique motives." The amended law was to be exercised with care and caution. Even law enforcement agencies were cautioned. According to the data collected in May 2012, the Indian  Express brought to light the fact that 18% dowry death cases end in conviction in Delhi, a matter of serious concern.

Marriage brought in the issue of IPV or intimate partner violence, commonly consisting of marital rape and domestic violence. Inter Partner violence is defined as,

“Intimate partner violence includes acts of physical aggression, psychological abuse, forced intercourse and other forms of sexual coercion, and various controlling behaviours such as isolating a person from family and friends or restricting access to information and assistance.”

The reasons for IPV are said to include: young age, low income, low academic achievement , involvement in aggressive or delinquent behaviour as an adolescent.

Marital rape is not yet recognised under the Indian law as a crime.

The Protection of Women Against Domestic Violence Act, 2005 was passed to protect the married women from being victims of physical and mental torture at the hands of their husbands and family members. “Bell bajao” an international campaign that was initiated by 2008 by Breakthrough which aimed at creating a vigilant society that stood up for the women especially in their neighbourhood and raised a voice against injustice being meted out to them. According to Smita Joshi, a family counsellor about 55% cases of domestic violence cases are settled by counselling. Are there any follow ups done? Are these only temporary quick – fixes? We may never know. The stifling of women in a claustrophobic patriarchal society is not something you and I can shut our eyes to.

What about unmarried women who are working at offices for various reasons from financial insufficiency to ambition. The Vishaka judgment (http://www.iitb.ac.in/WomensCell/data/Vishaka-Guidelines.pdf )  gave in certain guidelines for the protection of women at workplaces.
All employers or persons in charge of work place whether in public or private sector should take appropriate steps to prevent sexual harassment. Without prejudice to the generality of this obligation they should take the following steps:

A. Express prohibition of sexual harassment as defined above at the work place should be notified, published and circulated in appropriate ways.
B. The Rules/Regulations of Government and Public Sector bodies relating to conduct and discipline should include rules/regulations prohibiting sexual harassment and provide for appropriate penalties in such rules against the offender.
C. As regards private employers, steps should be taken to include the aforesaid prohibitions in the standing orders under the Industrial Employment (Standing Orders) Act, 1946.
D. Appropriate work conditions should be provided in respect of work, leisure, health and hygiene to further ensure that there is no hostile environment towards women at work places and no employee woman should have reasonable grounds to believe that she is disadvantaged in connection with her employment.

The Times of India, in November, 2012 stated 17% of women are still sexually harassed at workplaces. It quoted Oxfam India report on the same "While 87% of the general population and 93% of working women respondents reported awareness of sexual harassment of women at workplace, a majority of the victims didn't resort to any formal action against the perpetrators. The top three industries unsafe for women are labourers (29%), domestic help (23%) and small-scale manufacturing (16%)."

Aren’t these victims of injustice living in a potentially vulnerable society? Isn’t this a contributing factor to the societal imbalance?

Honour killings are the most violent and extreme of the crimes against women. However, the only difference here is that even spouses and fiancées of these young women are sacrificed at the altar of family honour. Khap Panchayats have been slaughtering young men and women in the name of caste. Aren't these victims also 'Victims'?

Most women refrain from reporting any crime for fear of social stigma. Families refrain from registering cases against eve- teasers and there are many women out there in the open who ignore the daily whistling and hooting and verbal abuses. Film- makers may show a few women slipper young men but this is not reality, it is glorified fiction for India.

Another serious issue that we face is the fact that we are yet to figure out how society begins to perceive victims of rape and molestation with a jaundice eye.The main reason women refrain from registering a case against the perpetrators of crime is because they are branded as women of low character. A de- flowered woman in society gets the distinction of one ineligible to marry, lead a normal life or start anew. This perception must change.

The Government of India may come up with the best of Legislations on paper but once the bill is passed Parliament become functus officio as far as that statute is concerned so that it cannot itself interpret it. In Girdharilal and sons v. Balbir Nath mathur AIR (1986) SC 1099, it was clearly stated: A legislature cannot be asked to sit to resolve difficulties. Watching the media's focus on a single crime and then discuss and vent out our anger in drawing rooms without understanding the depth and intensity of the situation describes the ineffectualness of the masses.

On the part of the Legislature in future it must be mandatory that MP’s and MLA’s standing for elections with impending criminal cases must come clean before they can stand for elections.
A major reason for these crimes is attributed to a gender inequality.

Gender Mainstreaming is a workable way out. The Economic and Social Council defines Gender mainstreaming as:

Gender mainstreaming is the process of assessing the implications for women and men of any planned action, including legislation, policies and programmes, in all areas and at all levels, and as a strategy for making women’s as well as men’s concerns and experiences an integral dimension of the design, implementation, monitoring and evaluation of policies and programmes in all political, economic and social spheres so that women and men benefit equally and inequality is not perpetuated. The ultimate goal is to achieve gender equality.” (ECOSOC 1997/2)

It is time for women to stop buckling under the pressure of a male – dominant society. If the tenacity with which men and women protested on streets in various parts of India can be translated into an action for empowering women to stand up for themselves, India does have hope for equality in the social order.  The crimes against women must be stopped in totality.

Let's stop waiting for male - help to assert our individuality and independence.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

 As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Here's hoping maximum women welcome tomorrow with a new hope and a renewed vigour to meet the challenges that lay ahead.

Katherine. Abraham

Moderator